


Drunk Legolas makes interesting comments

by Kuchiki



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 10:04:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3565613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuchiki/pseuds/Kuchiki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Legolas has gotten drunk while at the Starlight Festival with you, and he makes some interesting comments about the human race.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunk Legolas makes interesting comments

 

It was the starlight festival. Ever since Legolas had remembered, he had always invited you to join in the celebrations. This year however, despite his reluctance to drink (he said he didn't fancy getting drunk) he had downed no less than 5 bottles of Elvish Wine. He was truly drunk off his feet, while you still remained relatively sober.

You realised a drunk legolas is very different from a sober one. For instance, he talks nearly non stop about anything infront of him. Just a few minutes ago he was blabbering on about tableware when suddenly, his words caught your attention. More like the mention of your race.

"Humans... they're just like elves..." he had exclaimed loudly to some important looking elves while you looked on, amused.

"But... their ears... they're so..." He was struggling to find the right words to describe human ears. He raised a finger and was slopily drawing circles with it, trying to convey his thoughts.

  
"Circle-y" He declared. You were laughing your head off at his comments. Not so smart when drunk eh? You think as you get up from your seat across him.

"Okay, party's over Legolas." You declare as you try to pull him off his seat and towards his room before his reputation is ruined.

Suddenly, he stood up of his own accord, nearly knocking you to your feet. He stumbles a bit, muttering under his breath. You shake your head and sigh. Thank god half the attendees won't remember anything from the party, and the other half won't dare whisper a word about it.

"Hey...your ears... why are they so round." He slurs and he almost crashes over. You run to catch him and he puts an arm over your shoulder. His breath reeked of alcohol and you want to throw him off, but you just grumble and help him stumble along.

"Heeeeeey..." He slurs again, this time you get a full mouth of his breath on your face. Not pleasant at all.

"What now?" You ask.

"Tell me whyyyyy human ears are so rouuuuuuund" He asks innocently like it was a legit question.

"Tell me why elvish ears are pointed then." You snap back, how were you going to answer anyway?

"Because as...as...asa...ath..." He mumbles and you can't catch it over the noise of the party.  "Asth-ASTHETIC!" He proclaims loudly, waving his arms around like he won the lottery or something. He almost falls off again and you curse silently.

"Right. Humans have round ears since it's good asthetic." You reply with an eye roll. Dragging him was hard work! Where was his father when you needed him anyway? One good look from him and Legolas will be up and ready to hunt a pack of orcs.

 He was silent for a bit and you almost breathe a sigh of relief. 

 "Noooooooo only elves can have as...ath..atitc..."

 "Asthetic. You're so drunk you can't even speak right. Go ponder about ears tomorrow." You chide as you drag him up some stairs.

 He shut up after that and with your help, managed to conquer the stairs. Now arriving at the royal wing, you are quite ready to dump him with his servants and go take a bath.

 The servants see that you're very done with him and rush to help you. You pass Legolas, who seems to have fallen asleep, over. All of a sudden, his hand reaches out to tap your ear.

 "Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing." He says with each tap of his finger, grinning madly. 

"Human ears so round and bouncy." He concludes happily. You never felt so violated in your life.

He then proceeds to harass said ear, pulling at it and stroking it in a way that cam only be described as creepy.

"Human earsssssss" He says with great gusto after he had completed his 'examination'.

"You know what. I will sell you out to that elvish gossip magazine. Your weird human ear fetish should be shared with the rest of your kind." You tell him as you walk off, not caring that he would probably have forgotten everything by morning.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by 'Imagine Legolas' imagine on tumblr. I'd highly recommend you check them out for your daily dose of cute mental imagery :)


End file.
